A Master Dethroned

I was the master. For the past 2 years I held the title for the best all time April Fools joke ever. It happened a couple of years back when I told my parents that I was getting married to someone they didn't think was a particularly great match for me, one year after an initial 15 year marriage that ended in divorce. They went ballistic (as I expected they would) and proceeded to tell me that this marriage was a huge mistake. They said it was too soon and that my judgement was impaired. I kept the gag going by increasing the drama. I responded by saying that after all I had been through, I couldn't believe that they weren't happy for me and that their negative reaction was taking away all of my joy during this happy occasion. My parents stopped short of booking their flights to Toronto to knock some sense into me. And for that stroke of genius I was crowned master.

Until April 1, 2007.

We were in Montreal visiting family to celebrate Passover. My kids had stayed up relatively late the night before and woke up that day a little sluggish and cranky. After breakfast, my son, Louis went to the washroom to clean up and get ready for the day. I was in the kitchen helping my mother clear the dishes from breakfast when I heard a familiar holler, "Mom, I'm not feeling well."

My maternal instincts kicked in immediately as I rushed to the washroom and opened the door. The smell was enough to knock me over. There he sat wincing; his face vividly displaying severe stomach pain. He said, "Mom, I don't feel well. My stomach is really hurting and I can't find any toilet paper. I need your help." As I approached, he pulled out his arm and displayed his hand covered in a disgusting orange-brown textured goo.

I was taken aback, grabbed his arm desperately searching for some kind of tissue to begin cleaning the mess and said, "Oh my God! What happened?"

He said, "I'm so sorry Mom, I didn't know what to do. My stomach is really hurting. I need your help." My heart went out to him in every way. I could feel his pain and his embarrasment and felt pride that I was the one he could turn to for help in this kind of crises. After all ... that's what mothers are for.

Just then he reached down (with his other hand) and uncovered the chocolate bar wrapper that he had used as evidence of his April Fools trick. I was blown away by his ability to reel me in emotionally and by his crafty execution. They say the acorn does not fall far from the tree. I guess I deserved it - the master had been dethroned!