Opening Doors with Kim

Kim Ades of Opening Doors lets you in on her frame of mind.

Friday, October 19, 2007

By the Light of the Moon

She was tired and stressed and obviously upset. She was out of control and unable to collect herself. My 8 year old daughter, Ferne was beside herself because it was already 8:55 p.m. and she still had so much to do: study for her French spelling test, read, and write in her journal. Yes, of course she has a journal; she is my daughter after all! With a note of hysteria, she blamed me for letting the time slip by, and claimed that she hated herself for not being prepared for the spelling test. Nothing I could do would calm her down. I tried everything. I tried extending her bed time by an extra 20 minutes, I tried getting her to focus on the time we still had to study for her test, and, seeing that she was far too exhausted to study anyways, I tried suggesting that she relax and wake up fresh the following morning and study then. No matter what I said, her hysteria grew. She even began to thrash around in her bed, unable to contain herself. She lost it.

Then her brother, Louis walked in the room. He had just finished taking his shower and stood in front of us wrapped in a towel. Witnessing the dynamics of the situation, he decided to add his own spice to the mix. Just as he turned around to leave the room, he deliberately let his towel drop, mooning us both. Ferne started to laugh and the tension evaporated instantly. She let go of beating herself up (and everyone around her) and traded it in for a little levity.

What an idea! Trading in the tension and self defeating thoughts for a little levity is such a simple, yet powerful concept.

She ended up reading a little, writing in her journal, and going to sleep. The following morning she woke up and studied for her spelling test to finally master every word on the list.

Here’s how it works. Not much gets accomplished when you are miserable and feel bad about yourself. But sometimes it happens, and we just feel lousy about ourselves and disappointed about our achievements, or lack thereof. The more we dwell on the goals we have not reached, the bigger the hole gets and the harder it is to fill it.

So here’s the key. Use a little levity to lift yourself up. Change your focus. Do something else, and when you are feeling low, focus on feeling better. Get an ice cream. Go for a run. Listen to a great song. Call a friend. Reconfigure your mind to recall the last time you felt aligned and felt good. The moment that you are moving toward a better frame of mind, your likelihood of attaining your goals dramatically improves.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kim, I love this! Levity is required in my world!

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kim.

It's Erica Hoffman from Realty Executives Southern Arizona in Tucson, Arizona. I really like your web site! I liked this article. It's very true. I find myself putting my mind off the fact that I just suddenly lost my assistant. I'm trying to just go on with my work as usual and I hope I'll fall into someone else somehow.

6:59 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home